The etiquette mistake you only learn by making it

Mine was keeping my shoes on indoors at a friend's place. Nobody said a word, but the pile of shoes by the door was screaming at me and I only noticed halfway through the evening. Now I clock the doormat situation before I even ring the bell.

The greeting ritual is real. I under-kissed a cheek once — went for one, they went for two — and we did an awkward little dance. You just have to laugh at yourself and copy the locals a half-second behind until it's muscle memory.

Turning up exactly on time to a dinner invitation and catching the host still in the shower. 'On time' here means fifteen minutes late, and I learned that the hard way, standing on a doorstep with a bottle of wine and an apology.

Refusing the second and third offer of food because I was full — which apparently read as an insult to the cook. Now I know: take a little, praise it loudly, and there's a polite way to actually stop being served.

I gave a colleague a gift wrapped in the 'wrong' colour for the occasion. She was gracious, but a mutual friend quietly explained later. So much etiquette is invisible until you trip the wire.

Small one but it stuck with me: I didn't make eye contact during a toast. Here that's apparently a minor curse on the whole table. Everyone laughed, but they meant it a little.

OP here — so it's not just me then. The shoes and the toast ones are going straight into my mental rulebook. Comforting that everyone's got a doorstep story.

Honestly the fix that helped me most was just asking one trusted local 'tell me the thing I'm getting wrong that nobody's mentioning.' People are usually delighted to explain, and it saves a dozen future cringes.

I'd add: watch how people treat the person serving them. The tone, the please-and-thank-you, whether you pack your own bags — those tiny scripts vary a lot and locals notice instantly when you're off.

As a student I basically learned all of this by watching my flatmates and copying. Cheaper than any culture course and you get the version people actually use.