Public transport unwritten rules that got me side-eyed

Stood on the wrong side of the escalator exactly once. The collective silent judgement taught me faster than any sign could have.

The phone call one got me too, so much silent disapproval and not a single word said out loud.

There’s a quiet carriage on the train here that isn’t marked anywhere obvious — found out the hard way mid-phone-call.

In my experience it’s much more relaxed on buses than on trains specifically — “public transport” isn’t really one single rulebook here, worth knowing before you assume the train rules carry over.

Following, my track record on this particular topic is genuinely bad.

Is there an actual way to learn these before you break them, or is breaking them basically the only way anyone ever learns?

Priya, I think it's mostly learned by breaking them, but watching first helps a lot. In Sweden I spent my first week just observing at the bus stop before I tried anything: where people stand, whether they queue, who gets on first, whether they talk. Everyone stood in a loose line with a surprising amount of personal space, and nobody spoke to anyone. That told me more than any guide.

A few things I've learned since, by watching or by getting it wrong:

• if there's an empty double seat, take it. Sitting next to a stranger when there are free seats elsewhere earned me a look that was very polite and very clear
• the quiet carriage on regional trains really is quiet. Phone calls happen in the space between carriages
• let people off before getting on, even when it's raining and you're getting wet
• on the escalator, stand on the right, always

My kids learned all of this in about three days by copying other kids. I needed a month.

In Ireland people thank the bus driver when they get off, even from the back door, shouting it over the other passengers. I felt rude for weeks before I noticed, and now I do it in other countries on holiday and get strange looks.

netherlands trains: don't sit in first class by mistake. the inspector is polite but the fine is not