"Reconsider after the first year without anyone treating it as a failure" is the part I'd copy. It takes the pressure off everyone.
Sophie Dubois ⭐ Helpful member
25 Jun 2026, 09:00
Our eldest is about to start university right as we're relocating, and it's opened up a decision I hadn't fully thought through: does she come with us and study locally, stay behind and live independently or with relatives, or do we look at something in between like a gap year to decide later?
Every option feels like it has a real cost — uprooting her right before a major life stage, leaving her to essentially become independent earlier than planned, or delaying things for everyone. She has opinions too, which keep changing depending on the day.
For families who've navigated a move with a kid at exactly this university-age threshold — how did you actually decide, and looking back, do you feel like you got it right? Particularly interested in how much weight you gave her preference versus the practical logistics.