Making friends in retirement abroad when you're not working or in school

This was my biggest worry too, and the answer turned out to be regular commitments rather than one-off socialising. A weekly class, a volunteering slot, a walking group — showing up to the SAME thing repeatedly is what turned acquaintances into friends at our age.

Volunteering was transformational for us — it gave structure, purpose, and a ready-made group of people who care about the same thing. Far better than 'retiree social clubs', which can feel a bit forced. Contribute at something and the friendships follow.

OP here — 'regular commitments over one-off socialising' is exactly the insight I was missing. I'd been going to occasional events and wondering why nothing stuck. Signing up for a weekly thing this week. Thank you both.

Learning the language, even slowly, opened up local friendships that the English-speaking expat bubble never would have. My classmates at the language course became some of my closest friends here — all in the same boat, all trying.

Don't overlook your neighbours and the local shopkeepers. At a slower pace of life you actually have time to build those small daily relationships, and a couple of them grew into proper friendships for us. Presence and consistency do a lot.

Hosting helped me — a monthly coffee morning or a small dinner. Being the one who gathers people means you don't sit waiting to be invited. It felt bold at first, but people are grateful someone made the effort.

Lovely to hear the hosting idea, Paolo — that's the push I needed. It really is on us to make the first move at this stage; the ready-made social life of work and school kids just isn't there, so we build our own.

Give it a full year before judging how it's going. Friendships at any age take time to deepen, and in a new country you're also crossing a culture and often a language. The ones I have now didn't exist in month three, but they're real.