Job offers in two countries — how did you choose?

Leila, when my lists came out equal, what helped was changing the question. Instead of "which is better", I asked "which mistake would I regret more". If I took the smaller move and it went badly, would I wonder about the bigger one for years? If I took the bigger move and it went badly, would I simply come back? For me the answer was clear once I asked it that way. It may be the opposite for you, but it breaks the tie.

As a researcher who moved to Canada from France: the job is often better on paper, and the long-term route to staying is clearer than in many places I looked at. What I underestimated was the distance from family and the time difference with my old collaborators. Neither was a reason not to go. But I'd weigh them honestly, rather than as footnotes.

I had a version of this choice a few years ago, and here's what I learned, a little late.

The lists came out equal for me too, because I was listing the wrong things. Salary, contract length and the visa route matter, but you can research them, and they tend to balance out. What I didn't list was what an ordinary Tuesday would feel like in each place. Who would I have lunch with? How long would it take before I had someone to call if I was ill? Would I be starting from zero socially, or could I build on something I already had?

I chose the "better on paper" option and I don't regret it, but the first year was much lonelier than I'd planned for, and I think I'd have prepared better if I'd been honest about it. So my suggestion: for each offer, imagine a very ordinary Tuesday in February, in detail. Whichever one you can picture more calmly is telling you something.

Rajesh, the regret question broke the tie in about ten seconds, which was a little frightening. And Marco, the Tuesday in February will stay with me. Thank you both. I think I know what I'm going to do.

Good luck with the decision, Leila. Whichever way it goes, the practical side (the permit route for researchers, how long the process takes, and what it means for long-term residence later) is worth checking early for both countries, because it can affect your start date. The Visa section for Canada and the Visa section for the Netherlands both cover research and highly skilled routes.

Marco's ordinary-Tuesday test is the most useful thing I've read this week.

Smaller move, bigger life, sometimes, so don't dismiss the Dutch one because it's easier.

Whatever you choose, you've already done the hardest move once, so you know you can.

Where you'll have people around you in the first winter matters more than any salary difference, in my experience.

Following, because I'll probably have this dilemma in two years.